


fumbled

by bohemianqueen



Category: Law & Order: SVU
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Don't copy to another site, F/M, Fake/Pretend Relationship, First Time, First Time Bottoming, Fish Tacos, Gay Sex, M/M, Underage Drinking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-26
Updated: 2019-10-02
Packaged: 2020-09-27 08:54:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 20,220
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20405035
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bohemianqueen/pseuds/bohemianqueen
Summary: "What are you—she’s already seen me!” Nick said. There was no point in trying to hide now.“Just…go with it,” Sonny told him. His expression was amused and Nick got distracted when his eyes dropped to Sonny’s lips briefly.“Go with…go with what?” he asked as he shook himself.“Nick. Relax. How close is she?” Sonny asked. The same amused expression was on his face and his hands were now bunched up in Nick’s sweater at his waist. They were close enough that Nick could feel the heat coming off of Sonny. How did such a lanky person run so warm?





	1. chapter one

[](https://www.flickr.com/photos/183818140@N03/48625886898/in/dateposted/)

**chapter one**

Nick took another sip from the red, plastic cup in his hand as the thumps from the bass in the music washed over the house. At this point in the night the party was in full swing. As he watched some of his classmates try to grind to the beat he distantly wondered how the neighbors hadn’t called the police yet. He took another sip, bit back the grimace as the beer in his cup was now warm and more foam than liquid, and let his fingers trace the grooves in the side of the cup as he let it drop back down by his waist. Olivia was laughing with someone next to her, it was a joyful, tinkling sound, and she accidentally bumped into him as she threw her head back and laughed harder. He sighed and the sound was immediately swallowed up by the cacophony in the room.

Olivia playfully pushed the person she was laughing with and then waved as he walked off with a wink thrown in her direction. Nick raked his brain for the guy’s name. They’d had civics together one year and Nick absently remembered rolling his eyes every time the guy spoke. Something that started with an ‘r’, he was pretty sure. He shrugged mentally and let the thought drift away as he continued to survey the room. Now the couches were being pushed back in an attempt to make more space for a dance floor and Nick was incredibly thankful that he had Olivia with him. He remembered how Maria used to always insist that they dance.

“Okay, so I’m going to go hunt down Alex,” Olivia said over the music. She nudged him with an expectant smile.

His lips pulled down in a pleading expression as he grabbed her wrist. “Wait! You said you’d stay with me the entire night,” he reminded her.

She laughed and shook her head. Her brown hair followed the motion like a halo and her eyes were bright as she looked up at him.

“No, I said I’d stay with you to keep Maria away. I don’t even think she’s here! There’s no way I’m going to pass up the opportunity to spend the night with my girlfriend…in her house…with her parents away.” Nick groaned, but Olivia pressed on. “I’ll come find you later. Go socialize! Make some new friends,” she encouraged with a nod towards where even more people were dry humping and rubbing against each other in the most bizarre high school mating ritual. He watched as someone sloppily tried to kiss their dance partner and someone else stumbled in their heels and spilled their beer on the floor. Absolutely not.

“I don’t need any new friends!” he replied beseechingly. “I have you! We graduate in several months. Come on, please do not leave me,” Nick pleaded again.

Olivia gently unfolded his fingers where they were still resting on her wrist with a wry smile.

“You’ll be fine,” she told him. “Go get another drink and hang out in the kitchen with the stoners if dancing isn’t your thing.”

Before he could retort that stoners were hardly a better option than dancing, she was slipping away and pushing through the crowd. He sighed and watched as she managed to swim through the press of people gracefully and with purpose, no doubt already having an idea of where Alex was located. They probably planned this, he thought to himself bitterly. He sighed and shook his head at himself, taking another sip of flat beer for something to do. She deserved to spend time with her girlfriend and not babysit him all night. He knew that. But knowing and being left to his own devices with the possibility of Maria lurking and waiting made him feel like one of those baby animals on Animal Planet. The prowling lioness was probably waiting in the high grass to pounce on him as soon as he was vulnerable. Well, maybe that was a little dramatic. Maybe

He headed towards the kitchen in an attempt to not look so awkward standing there on his on with a mostly empty cup in his hand. When he got there he gave the room at large a reserved smile before making a beeline for the alcohol. Bottles in varying states of full and nearly empty were clustered on the counter in a corner next to soda. There was no ice to be found to help water down the half flat soda and strong liquor, so he grabbed another beer with a sigh. He poured it into his cup and let the can drop on the top of what he was pretty sure was the recycling bin. The floor was sticky with spilled liquid and his shoes stuck to it slightly when he moved. He took a long drink from his cup and took a look around at the other people leaning against the counter. They were bleary eyed with lazy smiles and after another moment he smiled tightly again and pressed back out into the main room.

As he looked around the room he briefly considered just going home. He was close enough to walk, mostly. He could still come back in the morning to help Alex clean like he promised, but the idea of spending the rest of the night in all of this noise was the opposite of appealing to him. He took a long sip from his cup and let his eyes wander. There was a sliding glass door tucked away just off the living room that caught his eye. Nick gently slid by people in a beeline for it, getting stopped every so often to accept a pat on the back and smile from someone who had attended the recent football game.

When he finally made it to the door he peeked through the glass. He couldn’t see anything since the patio light wasn’t on, so he cupped his hand against the glass and pressed his face against it. The coolness alone was refreshing, with the temperature in the room fast approaching hot and humid, despite the autumnal weather outside. When he saw that it was empty he took a quick glance around the room behind him before unlocking the door and slipping outside. Almost instantly the sound receded and he sighed in relief. It was cool outside, nearly cold enough for a jacket, but it sure beat being inside of the house. He set his cup of beer on the railing before leaning against it and peering out into the darkness. As his eyes adjusted he was gradually able to pick out trees amongst the dark blobs. The moon was a skinny sliver in the sky and didn’t do much to light up the darkness and the longer he stared up the more stars he saw. He shivered against a breeze that floated through, but took in a deep inhale of the clean, autumn air.

A scraping at the door and then quiet hush of it being opened had him startling and whirling around. The sound from inside the house bled outside in splash of laughter, music and talking and broke the silence. He winced and braced himself for whatever Maria was going to say. He had a greeting on his tongue when he took a second look at the person who was currently climbing outside. The person was tall and gangly, more limbs than anything, and when they pulled the door shut Nick realized that it was definitely not Maria.

“Jesus, it’s loud in there, huh?” the other boy said when he spotted Nick. He didn’t seem put out by the company or startled at Nick’s appearance.

“Hey, Sonny,” Nick greeted wearily. “Yeah, it’s loud.”

“I needed some fresh air and some peace and quiet. I tell ya…parties are fun, but I get to the point where all of that noise is just…” he made an exploding motion on either side of his head with his hands and Nick just raised his eyebrows.

“Right,” Nick agreed, drawing the word out conspicuously. He grabbed for his cup again, it was quickly becoming a talisman more than anything else, and he took a small sip. He watched as Sonny groped around in the dark and muttered to himself before finally finding the light switch he was looking for.

“Aha!” he crowed triumphantly as the track lighting around the railing was illuminated. “That’s a little better, eh?”

Nick peered into his cup and sloshed the wheat colored liquid around. “Sure.”

There was a long pause and Nick glanced up at Sonny from beneath his lashes. There was a thoughtful expression on the other boy’s face and Nick dropped his eyes back to his cup and took another swig of beer.

“I can leave, if ya want,” Sonny offered. “Sorry I just…kinda took over your space. I can find somewhere else.” He looked somewhat apologetic and Nick shook his head and offered Sonny a small smile.

“It’s fine. I just…needed some fresh air. I’m also trying to hide from Maria,” Nick admitted.

“Your girlfriend?” Sonny asked with a quizzical tilt of his head. He took a sip from his own cup and Nick briefly wondered what he was drinking.

“Ex-girlfriend,” Nick corrected swiftly. He took a sip of beer. “Ex.”

“Ahh. I’m sorry, man. I didn’t know.” Sonny gave Nick a pitying look and at that Nick laughed.

He shook his head and placed his cup back down.

“Don’t be. I broke up with her.” Realization dawned on Sonny’s face and Nick took a few steps closer to him. “I just…she—it—all good things have to come to an end, right? Only, I’m not sure we _were_ a good thing. Maybe just a habit. I decided that I kinda had enough of that, you know?” Nick asked. Sonny nodded wisely. “So…it’s been a couple of weeks, but I’m pretty sure she thinks it’s just a phase or a mood or something. Think she already had my prom tux picked out.” Nick laughed dryly and palmed the back of his neck.

“She’ll find someone else,” Sonny assured Nick. He winced. “Or not? If you don’t want her to? Sorry, I’m kinda shit at this,” he admitted sheepishly. “I don’t think I’ve even seen her at this party, though. Are you sure she’s going to track you down? Surprised you’re not with Olivia in a corner laughing.”

Nick huffed out laughter. “Well, as Olivia pointed out: she has her girlfriend in a house with no parents around. She ditched me about twenty minutes ago.”

Sonny choked on his sip from his cup and coughed before laughing. “Good point. She makes a very good point.”

“Of course you’d take her side,” Nick teased. “Meanwhile, I’m waiting like a cow being led to slaughter.”

“Surely that’s a little dramatic,” Sonny replied in amusement. “Maria can’t be that b—”

“Oh my God,” Nick interrupted as something caught his attention over Sonny’s shoulder through the glass door. “Shit,” he hissed.

“What?” Sonny asked in confusion as he started to turn. Nick grabbed him and stopped him from completing his turn and looking over his shoulder. He took another step closer to Sonny.

“She’s here. Shit! I think she saw me since the lights are on out here again,” Nick continued rapidly.

His eyes darted around and he tried to gauge how far the ground was from the patio. They were elevated, but there was grass beneath him to cushion his landing. He was still weighing the pros and cons of vaulting over the side anyway when Sonny suddenly grabbed him and pushed him against the brick wall.

“What are you—she’s already seen me!” Nick said. There was no point in trying to hide now.

“Just…go with it,” Sonny told him. His expression was amused and Nick got distracted when his eyes dropped to Sonny’s lips briefly.

“Go with…go with what?” he asked as he shook himself.

“Nick. Relax. How close is she?” Sonny asked. The same amused expression was on his face and his hands were now bunched up in Nick’s sweater at his waist. They were close enough that Nick could feel the heat coming off of Sonny. How did such a lanky person run so warm?

“She’s right—oh my God, she’s right at the—”

Nick’s speech was cut off by Sonny pressing a kiss to his throat. His mouth clicked shut in surprise and his hands flew up to Sonny’s shoulders.

“Good,” Sonny murmured against his neck. “Just go with it. Pretend you’re into it and stop staring at the door,” he added in a hiss.

Nick dropped his eyes obediently and stared across the patio into the darkness. Everything was back to being just blobs. He closed his eyes and let his chin tilt up as Sonny continued pressing light kisses along the side of his neck. The patio door slide open for the second time, but Nick kept his eyes squeezed shut. He pulled Sonny closer and told himself that the moan he let out was for the performance, and not because Sonny had found a particularly sensitive patch of his neck.

“Nick?” he heard Maria say incredulously.

Sonny pulled away and Nick blinked his eyes open. He opened his mouth to reply, but Sonny beat him to the punch.

“Kinda preoccupied right now, if you don’t mind,” Sonny told her. Nick couldn’t see Sonny’s expression, but his tone was playful and he probably had slightly swollen lips to drive the point home. Maria’s expression shuffled between surprise, incredulity, and suspicion before finally arriving at slightly murderous. Par for the course where they were involved, Nick thought and tried to push down his laughter.

“I…see,” Maria replied. “I’ll leave you to it.” She spun on her heel with another stony look between them and exited as quickly as she had come.

There were a few beats of silence before Sonny erupted in laughter. He pressed a hand to the brick wall as he turned to look at Nick. “Did you see her face!?” Nick nodded and joined him in laughter and for the first time of the evening, he was happy he hadn’t left early and gone home.


	2. chapter two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> you make it out alive, superstar?

[ ](https://www.flickr.com/photos/183818140@N03/48625887708/in/dateposted/)

**you make it out alive, superstar?**

Nick fished his phone out of his pocket distractedly, still keeping an eye on his sister who was heading towards the fitting rooms to try on the dresses draped over her arm. The homecoming dance was a little over a month away, but that didn’t stop her from wanting to get a jump on planning. Nick didn’t understand why she had to have a new dress in the first place, she had plenty in the closet, but at his mom’s tired look he agreed to go with Sonya to the mall. His mom was exhausted trying to keep the bills paid and the two of them happy. The least he could do was trail behind his sister in stores for a few hours. He’d reward himself with a pretzel for his efforts and coach never needed to know about it.

He stood by the entrance of the fitting rooms awkwardly and looked down at his phone as he thumbed the text open. He frowned when he saw the message. The number looked familiar, but he didn’t have it saved in his phone. He’d had to get a new one when his old phone had accidentally ended up in the wash, but all of the contacts from the previous one hadn’t changed over and for the last several weeks he had been playing catch up as people texted him and he had to awkwardly ask who it was on the other side of the message. He glanced towards the fitting rooms and caught they eye of two girls that he thought were also in Sonya’s grade. He smiled stiffly and they both giggled and clutched each other’s arms before rushing into the fitting room. Okay, then.

_who is this? sorry, my new phone didn’t save all of my old contacts._

He typed slowly and pressed send, but only had to wait half the time for a response.

**your knight in shining armor*  
*sweater  
well, I guess my sweater wasn’t shiny. but you get the point.  
your new favorite italian**

_sonny?  
also…aren’t you like…barely italian?_

**you take that back, nick amaro! my nonna didn’t beat me with a stick when I messed up the tomato sauce for me to be called ‘barely italian’ !  
see if I ever rescue you again**

_…I’m not going to touch that part about your nonna  
but I do appreciate your help last night. thank you. I survived. didn’t see maria the rest of the night._

**clearly she was intimidated by my good looks and charm and knew she wasn’t a match for me**

Nick laughed out loud and realized he was smiling at his phone broadly. He tried to rein in his smile.

_I’m sure that was it_

**of course it was. what else could it be.**

_…_

**ANYWAY. I wanted to offer my services again, if you need them.  
she seems kinda persistent  
unless you do want to get back with her in which case, ignore this text**

_services?_

**yeah…like…we could pretend to be together for a little while. just enough time so she backs off.  
but only if you want!  
you seemed kinda…freaked out at the party**

_uhh_

**forget it! forget I said anything. enjoy your day. sorry for being weird**

_it’s not weird_  
well, it kind of is. but it’s not a bad idea  
can I think about it?

**of course**

_right now I’m leaning towards…yes…_

Nick looked up when he heard Sonya’s voice speaking to the fitting room attendant. He watched as she handed back all but one dress. Aside from color, they mostly looked the same to him. They all looked a little too thin for the weather he was sure they’d have for Homecoming and it was all layers of frothy material and weird straps. He shrugged mentally. She seemed happy enough and if she finally found one she liked that meant they could finally get out of the mall.

“Find something?” he asked hopefully.

She smiled and held up the hanger for him to see. His eyes traced over the emerald green fabric and he gave her what he hoped was a knowing smile.

“Looks perfect, ‘mana. You’re going to look gorgeous.”

She beamed and he sent up a prayer of thanks that those seemed to be the right words. “I know, right!? I love it! And it’s on sale so I can afford to get it with my babysitting money from over the summer and still have enough for new shoes.”

“Shoes?” he groaned at her back as she took off towards the cash registers. “Shoes!?”

Sonya laughed. “Don’t be so dramatic, Nicky. You should look for stuff for you while we’re here,” she replied over her shoulder.

“I already have a suit and shoes!” he tossed back. He followed her at a sedate pace and shook his head. With a sigh he turned back to his phone.

_text you later. my sister is trying to kill me by going to every store in the mall.  
if I survive, I’ll take you up on your offer_

**God speed**

Nick smiled and pocketed his phone.

* * *


	3. interlude:trust

“I don’t know about this, Sonny,” Nick hissed. What had seemed like a good idea on Saturday night was starting to sink in differently on Monday morning and Nick had a knot in his stomach almost as big as the football he regularly threw. “How can I trust you?”

Sonny eyed Nick with a long suffering look and dropped his bag by his feet and leaned against the wall across from Nick. Being unceremoniously pulled into a stairwell on his way to the library to get a jump on his homework during his free period wasn’t exactly on the top of his to-do list and he was unamused as ever by Nick’s theatrics.

“Have you ever considered drama club?” Sonny drawled as he twirled a mechanical pencil around his fingers deftly and tilted his head. “I think you have a real flare for it.”

Nick threw his hands up in exasperation and shook his head. “Are you even listening to anything I’ve been saying!?”

“I’ve listened to you go around in circles for the past five minutes even though I have a ton of homework, yes,” Sonny confirmed. He pushed off the wall and leaned forward a little. “You’ve known me since kindergarten. What could you possibly think I would do to break your trust?”

“Tell everyone this is a sham, for one!” Nick pointed out and sliced his hand through the air.

“How would that benefit me? Seriously, Nick, you need to think beyond all of this high school political crap. I don’t care that you’re some big shot football player or what people think of you, and by extension now, me. I can’t get into college based on how cool some kids who peaked in high school think I am. I’ve never paid any attention to any of that and I’m not gunning for the title of Prom King,” Sonny said plainly with a slightly amused expression. “I just wanted to help you out. That’s all. If you’re not into this, or can’t trust me, that’s fine. We can call the whole thing off right now and I’ll be able to finally get to free period.” A shrug. “Your choice.”

‘Also, I’ve been in love with you forever and I’d never do anything to intentionally hurt you,’ Sonny thought to himself. 

He kept his face passive in lieu of saying anything that could make this situation more complicated than it needed to be. It was Nick’s choice, in the end, and Sonny got the distinct impression that Nick didn’t actually make many of his own choices based solely on his desires. He was always weighing the opinions and pressures of other people. His parents. His sister. His coach. The football team. The school. Sonny wanted to shake him and tell him that none of it really mattered, in the end, none of this would matter much in just several years time. He smartly kept his mouth shut and maintained his casual posture as he let Nick decide.


	4. chapter three

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Why do you have a laptop?”
> 
> “For the rules,” Sonny answered. His attention was already drawn to the screen and he narrowed his eyes and ran a tongue over his bottom lip. Nick did not trace the motion with his eyes before trying to catch Sonny’s gaze again.
> 
> “Rules?” Nick asked.
> 
> “Yeah.” Sonny’s reply was impatient and something about his tone was sitting Nick on edge. “The dos and don’ts of this whole arrangement. Unless you changed your mind. Again.”

[ ](https://www.flickr.com/photos/183818140@N03/48626380267/in/dateposted/)

Nick tapped his open notebook in a staccato beat and tried not to look suspicious. Or nervous. From the bench he was sitting on he could see the practice field and he watched as the junior varsity team ran drills. The autumn days were starting to have as much crispness as the evenings. Soon the sweatshirt he was wearing wouldn’t be enough, but he was grateful that he still felt warm from the work out that had gotten his blood pumping during his practice. 

The air smelled like a burning fire, someone eager to get the season underway and burning a fire in their fireplace most likely, and Nick inhaled deeply. Autumn was his favorite season and it wasn’t just because it was football season. He liked to walk home and watch as the leaves changed colors. He liked seeing the way people would gradually add more and more decorations to their homes in preparation for Halloween. He felt a particular wave of melancholy wash over him as he realized that this would be his last year for that routine. It was his last year for a lot of familiar routines and he tore his eyes away from the field and dropped it to the blank page of his notebook.

He wrote a title at the top of the sheet and wished Sonny would hurry up. The longer he sat there alone the more he was feeling nervous about the whole thing again. After his panic in the hallway earlier in the day, Sonny had given him space. True to his word he hadn’t pressured Nick for any sort of answer and for some reason that bugged him more than he cared to admit. Sonny truly didn’t appear to care about clout or reputation or trying to get something out of the arrangement, but Nick wished he could wipe that casually amused look off of his face. Under the fluorescence of school lighting it had been even more grating than in the partial darkness of the party.

“Sorry I’m late,” Sonny announced as he let his backpack hit the edge of the table with a measure thump. Nick startled at being shaken out of his thoughts and watched as Sonny dropped into a seat on the other side of the bench carelessly. “Mr. Henry wanted to talk to me about upcoming topics on—nevermind. Anyway. Here I am.”

“Hi, Sonny,” Nick greeted calmly. He took in Sonny’s scattered appearance as the other boy pushed a hand through his messy hair. Sonny shot him a smirk— Nick swore he felt his blood pressure jump— and unzipped his backpack.

“Hello, superstar. How was the rest of your day? Make any decisions about drama club?” Sonny teased. He pulled a laptop out of his bag and Nick felt his eyebrows shoot up to towards his hairline.

“Don’t call me that,” he reprimanded automatically. He gave Sonny a dark look and refused to acknowledge the comment about drama club. “Why do you have a laptop?”

“For the rules,” Sonny answered. His attention was already drawn to the screen and he narrowed his eyes and ran a tongue over his bottom lip. Nick did not trace the motion with his eyes before trying to catch Sonny’s gaze again.

“Rules?” Nick asked.

“Yeah.” Sonny’s reply was impatient and something about his tone was sitting Nick on edge. “The dos and don’ts of this whole arrangement. Unless you changed your mind. Again.”

“First, I never changed my mind to begin with,” Nick replied. He leaned across the table partially and jabbed a finger in Sonny’s direction. Behind Sonny the drills were still taking place on the football field and the coach blew a whistle that pierced through the air. “Second, that’s what I have my notebook for.”

“If you already knew about rules why did you ask me to clarify?” Sonny asked with a tilt of his head. The amusement was still there.

“Because I wasn’t sure what rules could necessitate a laptop.”

“Security.” At Nick’s thinly veiled impatience Sonny went on. “Paper can be found and passed around or whatever. We type them up and keep them in the cloud. It’ll make it way more secure. Got the impression you wanted to keep this part a secret…”

“I do,” Nick agreed immediately. “I just…seems like you’ve put a lot of thought into this.”

Sonny’s eyes flickered from Nick’s face back to his laptop. “Saw it on a movie once.”

Nick wasn’t convinced, but he let it go. “Alright, so…what’s the first rule?”

“We keep this a secret.”

Nick nodded. “You have to come to all of my home football games. And cheer for me.”

Sonny groaned and it was Nick’s turn to smirk. Still, he typed obediently and didn’t voice an objection. His fingers flew across the keyboard and the rhythmic tapping added another layer to the ambient noise around them.

“You have to do the same for my debate matches.” Sonny’s smirk was back and Nick shrugged. He leaned back in his seat and closed his notebook for something to do with his hands.

“Dances?” Nick asked. Sonny made a face and Nick smiled. Finally, something they agreed upon.

“Uh…maybe we go towards the end and then attend the after party together? I’m not really one for dancing,” Sonny admitted. He scratched a hand in his hair again and stretched out his fingers.

“Agreed. School trips?” Nick brought up next.

“Trips?”

“Yeah, like the weekend trip everyone takes to the beach in December right before winter break. Technically I guess it’s not a school trip, the school doesn’t organize it or anything, but it’s a tradition. I think some kids a few years ago made it up. There’s like this winter wonderland, kinda like the ones people do in the fall, but with fake snow and stuff. Winter treats. Then there’s the boardwalk light show,” Nick prompted.

Sonny squinted into nothing with a look of concentration on his face. “I think I heard my sister Teresa mention something about it. I think. My parents didn’t let her go, though.” He shrugged. “If you can convince my parents, and we’re still doing this in two months, sure.”

Nick’s stomach twisted uncomfortably at Sonny’s words. “Trying to get rid of me already?” he managed to squeeze out in an attempt at humor.

Sonny smiled and got back to typing. “Au contraire. I just want you to be able to take someone you really want to go with.”

Nick allowed the frown to spread over his face now and he kicked Sonny under the table.

“Ow, what the hell was that for!?”

“Now who needs to join drama? I barely kicked you. I’m going to do that every time you put yourself down. It’s lame and you don’t need to fish for compliments,” Nick said firmly. “We both had a good time talking the other night on the patio. Even if this dating thing is fake, we still enjoy each other’s company.” Nick shifted uncomfortably and grabbed pen and began clicking it. “Or at least, I enjoyed your company.”

A soft, pleased look spread over Sonny’s face and Nick swore he saw a blush spreading before Sonny ducked his head and began typing furiously again. “I had fun,” Sonny mumbled.

“Alright, good,” Nick answered with a pleased look. His stomach twisted again for another reason and in the back of the mind he thought about the fact that he must have burned a lot of calories in practice earlier. There was no other explanation for the reason it was so jumpy. “Now…about physical stuff.”

“Stuff,” Sonny repeated dryly. He was back to his smirk and Nick kicked him under the table this time just because.

“Whatever you want to call it! Intimacy—” Sonny made a face. “Touching—” Sonny laughed outright at that and Nick hastened on. “Kissing and stuff. I don’t want you to, like, feel pressured or anything…” His voice trailed off and Sonny sat there expectantly.

“But?” Sonny prompted.

“But, we probably need to be a little physical in order to sell this. I still think Olivia is going to see right through this.” That’s what Nick was most nervous about. Lying to his best was going to be tough. She was always so perceptive and the last thing he needed was her suspicious looks. First it was a look, then she’d start prying. ‘Investigating’ she called it and he bit back the urge to tell her that she wasn’t a detective.

“Why are you giving me that look?” Sonny asked. He stretched back in his seat and pushed the laptop a little to the side.

“What look?”

“The look like you think you’re the shark and I’m the baby seal that’s about to get eaten.”

“I don’t want to pressure you about—”

“Nick, not to burst whatever bubble you’ve got going on in that head of yours, but you’re not the first guy I’ll have been with.”

“I know, that’s why I—wait, what?” Nick asked. That was not what he had been expecting Sonny to say.

Sonny shrugged. “Had a thing with a guy at camp over the summer. So don’t worry, you’re not taking any precious firsts from me. Other than first fake relationship…although, I don’t plan to have a second one of those.” Sonny looked to the side again and pursed his lips. He shook himself and went on. “Anyway, I’m just saying. I’m comfortable with whatever you’re comfortable with.”

“No kissing,” Nick said immediately, surprising himself. Sonny looked surprised, too, and nodded before pulling his laptop close to him again. Was that also disappointment Nick saw? “Just…I think it’s better if we don’t? But holding hands, um…like sharing clothes probably? I can bring you some stuff. Like…casual touching.”

“Casual touching, got it,” Sonny answered in a weird voice. He continued typing and Nick wished he knew Sonny well enough to parse out his expression. He typed in silence for few more moments before glancing up at Nick before his gaze skittered away. “I can send you a copy to e-sign tonight.”

“Sounds good,” Nick confirmed with a nod. He shoved his notebook in his backpack. “Do we shake hands now or…?”

Sonny snorted and his expression was back to one Nick was familiar with. He typed a few more things and then closed the laptop. “I think a hug is more appropriate,” he answered casually. “Besides, we never know who could be watching.”

Nick glanced back at the field and nodded his agreement as he pushed to his feet. “Good point.”

He waited for Sonny to zip his backpack and stand and come around to his side of the table. They looked at each other awkwardly for a moment before Sonny laughed and threw his arms around Nick. He pulled him in close and Nick’s arms automatically came up to wrap around Sonny. He closed his eyes for a moment and got a whiff of Sonny’s conditioner and something else that was either aftershave or cologne. Nick dug his fingers into Sonny’s sweater— another one, he must have a thing for sweaters—feeling the plush knit under his fingers before he released him and pulled away. They both readjusted their clothes awkwardly and went back to shifting on their feet.

“Alright, so I’ll see ya,” Sonny finally broke the silence.

Nick nodded and gave him a small wave. “See you tomorrow. Maybe we should study together or…well, we didn’t add anything about our families to the list.”

“Like dinners and stuff?” Sonny asked. He brought his hands up to the straps of his backpack and tugged and Nick noted how long Sonny’s fingers were.

“Right. Should we…? We can text about it tonight, if you want? I better head home,” Nick added regretfully. He started walking towards the sidewalk slowly.

Sonny nodded and dug his car keys out of his pocket. “Sure. Let’s text about it.”

They shared another awkward wave before Nick turned to the sidewalk, leaving Sonny behind him. He’d barely gotten a few steps before he heard Sonny calling his name again. He turned expectantly.

“Are you going to walk?” Sonny called incredulously. Nick nodded and jerked his head in the direction he was going. Sonny waved him over. “I’ll give you a ride! C’mon.” Nick hesitated and Sonny flapped his hand again. “You’ll get home faster this way!” Nick let another beat pass before he nodded to himself and took off back towards Sonny.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> comments are part of an author's balanced diet :) come say hi on tumblr--I'm @carisi-dreams!


	5. chapter four

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Yeah, I said “new friends.” Not, ‘find a new boyfriend in a weekend.’” 
> 
> She shook her head and pursed her lips. 
> 
> “When was the last time you even talked to Dominick?”

[ ](https://www.flickr.com/photos/183818140@N03/48625886248/in/photostream/)

Olivia blinked at him before understanding dawned on her face and she suddenly bust out laughing. Of all of the reactions Nick had been expecting from her, this wasn’t one of them. She continued to laugh, harder as she continued, clutching her side and then leaning against the lockers for support. Her brown hair swayed in front of her face as she bent over partially to try to catch her breath.

When she straightened and made eye contact with him again he gave her an unimpressed look. He had opened his mouth to say something when she interrupted him again with more laughter. This time she brought up her hands to wipe under her eyes as tears of mirth began to gather at their corners. He sighed and shook his head. Her reaction was certainly fortifying him and for the first time he felt like he and Sonny may actually pull this off. By her leading with what was clear disbelief instead of suspicion it afforded him time to get his story straight. It also gave him a reason to be indignant in a moment, when her laughter would inevitably subside.

“Okay, I’m sorry. I’m sorry.” She waved her hands in the air to try to gain her composure.

“Are you done?” Nick asked pointedly.

She giggled a little and then brought up a hand to quickly press against her mouth. She nodded solemnly and remained silent. He narrowed his eyes at her and turned back to his locker. At this point he was just stalling as his hand landed on the books he’d need for the morning. He pretended to look for something for another moment before finally pulling the needed materials from his locker and shoving the door shut. It was a balancing act to hold his backpack with one hand and shove in his books and notebooks with the other, but it kept him from having to make eye contact with her as he began to speak again.

“This is your fault anyway,” he pointed out. “You’re the one who abandoned me so that you could get laid and then told me to make some new friends, or whatever.”

At the accusation Olivia’s head jerked to the side and her face settled into a more serious expression. A line appeared between her brow as she gestured with her hands.

“Yeah, I said “new friends.” Not, ‘find a new boyfriend in a weekend.’” She shook her head and pursed her lips. “When was the last time you even talked to Dominick?”

“Sonny,” Nick corrected automatically. She rolled her eyes and gestured impatiently for him to answer. “We…I don’t know. It had been awhile. We’ve known each other forever, though. He’s easy to talk to, we have chemistry and I like spending time with him. He doesn’t make me feel like I have to walk on eggshells to be the perfect football boyfriend and he doesn’t give a damn about school dances or being popular or anything.”

He was slightly out of breath when he finished and Olivia’s eyebrows had disappeared into her hairline right around the time he’d said that he and Sonny had chemistry. He had been more honest than he intended. It seemed to be working and he mentally kicked himself knowing that this would come back to bite him later. Maybe it was better, in the long run, for her to be suspicious than supportive. When he and Sonny ‘broke up’ he’d have to deal with her trying to ply him with ice cream and get him to talk about his feelings. Jesus, so much for thinking things through.

“O…kay.” Olivia closed her mouth from where it had been gaped open. She nodded even though her face was still skeptical, then raked a hand through her hair and tucked it behind one ear.

“If you’re really happy…” Her forehead was scrunched together in staid disbelief. “You know I’ll support you, no matter what.” She reached out a hand to squeeze his shoulder in a familiar gesture.

He nodded and dropped his gaze to his backpack, resisting the urge to pull at his clothes.

“I know.”

He swung his backpack on one shoulder and flashed her his trademark smile. It wouldn’t really work on her, but it would be enough for him to slip away and get to class.

“I appreciate it. I, uh, better get to class, though. Think Mr. Carlson is going to give me a detention if I’m late again and I can’t miss practice today.”

The first bell rang just then and it kept him from having to linger. With another flash of his smile he waved and took off down the hallway. That was one difficult conversation out of the way.

_________

Nick looked up from his sandwich with a smile playing at his lips. One of Sonny’s friends, Casey he’s pretty sure was her name, was bemoaning the math homework. She had just launched into an impassioned critique of the teacher, text, classroom structure and was now onto the overall flaw in teaching to test and it was one of the most entertaining things Nick had ever witnessed. Usually for lunch he sat with his friends and listened to someone drone on about their day, sometimes he jumped in, but most times he ate his food and desperately hoped the information he had learned throughout the day would make sense when it came time to do his homework that evening. He knew that a large reason he was seen as generally outgoing as people saw him had less to do with how charismatic he was —although he always could turn it on when he needed to— but more of his proximity to other charismatic people. It was comfortable.

“I mean, really,” Casey stabbed her salad with relish, eyes flashing, “it’s their job to teach us. Yet they get paid whether or not we really learn the material or not!”

“Tell us how you really feel,” Sonny inserted with a crooked grin.

She fixed him with an unimpressed look and shoveled a forkful of salad into her mouth. Nick looked up and scanned the cafeteria again. Across the room he caught Olivia’s eye and she wiggled her eyebrows at him with a pointed grin. She raised her hand to point at Sonny, then started making an explicit gesture, so he quickly looked away. The last thing he needed was for Sonny to think he was taking this whole thing seriously. That’s exactly what he would think if he caught Olivia making suggestive shapes and puling faces across the room.

He dropped his gaze back to the table, but not before movement caught the corner of his eye. When he did a double take he made eye contact with Maria whose mouth set in a hard line before she got up and starting making a beeline towards him. Nick looked over at Sonny in panic, but he was laughing around a bite of food in a truly disgusting show that Nick was ashamed to find was not a turn off. Great. Something else for him to unpack, or shove in the back corner of his brain and pretend to forget about.

Maria stormed over, pulling up short when she got within a foot of Nick. She stared down at him with a pointed look, ignoring the other people at the table as if they didn’t exist. To her, they probably didn’t.

“We need to talk.”

Her tone didn’t broker any argument and wasn’t a question. Nick sighed and placed his sandwich back in his container. The table had gone mostly quiet, staring between her and him with different expressions of surprise, indignation, and amusement. Under the table, Sonny squeezed his knee before jerking his head minutely. A smile played at his lips; this certainly was familiar. Nick nodded and got up. Better to get this over with.

“Let’s talk,” Nick replied lowly as he got to his feet gracefully.

He stepped over the bench and walked several feet away in what he hoped was out of earshot of anyone who would try to eavesdrop. With just him before her, Maria’s eyes filled with tears and she looked up at him and tucked her hair behind her ear. It was a familiar gesture and he felt a rush of affection for her that was quickly followed by annoyance. This was too familiar.

“I just…I don’t understand. I thought we were happy.” She blinked up at him with big eyes and he sighed and shifted his weight, shoving his hands in his back pockets.

“Were we, Maria?” Nick asked. “I think we were just used to each other. It’s…scary to do something different, maybe go after something, or someone, who truly makes us happy, but I think that’s what we both need to focus on.”

Her eyes hardened at his words and she sneered and tossed her hair over her shoulder.

“And Dominick—”

“Sonny.”

“Whatever. He makes you ‘truly happy’? What kind of sick joke is this?”

Her body language had closed off and now she was far from appearing vulnerable. Her shoulders were square and chin lifted in defiance.

“Interesting choice of words,” Nick commented mildly.

He set his jaw and massaged the knuckled of one hand with the other. She rolled her eyes.

“You know what I mean, Jesus, don’t be so sensitive. Can you blame me that you suddenly go from dating the head cheerleader to the president of debate.” She wrinkled her nose in disapproval.

“Why, because he’s a guy?” he challenged.

“Ew, no,” Maria shifted impatiently and waved his question away. “What kind of person do you think I am? You really don’t think much of me, huh?” She looked sincerely hurt at that and Nick opened his mouth to backpedal. She cut him off and continued. “It’s just…debate? What do the two of you even have in common?”

Nick looked back over at Sonny. He had his back to him and was engrossed in a conversation with a blond guy sitting on his other side. A flash of something hot licked up the base of Nick’s spine before he looked back at Maria, continuing to massage his knuckles.

“More than you’d think.”

________

_meanwhile_

“Thanks for being cool about everything,” Sonny said to Peter a few moments after Nick got up. He jostled his shoulder and flashed a smile when Peter made eye contact. “Means a lot to mean that you’ve been so…accepting about all of this.” He made a vague gesture in Nick’s direction.

Peter stiffened at the remarks, then relaxed before taking another bite of his sandwich. He shrugged one shoulder and his face went blank.

“‘Course.”

Sonny waited to see if he would go on, but when he didn’t he pressed forward. Sonny widened his hands a little and gave Peter a conspiratorial look.

“I mean, look, I know it’s kinda out of the middle of nowhere…” Peter hummed at that. “But, you know…I think it’s a good thing. He’s an interesting guy.”

“Interesting,” Peter repeated in an even voice.

His eyes were a brilliant green behind his glasses and Sonny shrugged sheepishly again and nodded.

“I mean, you must get that, right?” Peter’s brow furrowed and he looked confused. “You’re both athletes. Don’t you guys…” Sonny trailed off again and his hands flailed.

“Uhh, well, you know. Just because we’re both athletes doesn’t mean…I mean, does he even care about anything other than football?” Peter’s tone came out harsher than he intended so he laughed to soften the blow. “I have debate and—”

“He has a lot of interests outside of football,” Sonny hurried to interject.

Peter nodded slowly then shrugged in another careless gesture. “Alright. That’s good. As long as you’re happy, Sonny, I support it.” He began to shove his plastic containers back in his backpack. “I, uhh, remembered I needed to check something at the library before my last class. I’ll see you at debate.”

Before Sonny could reply, Peter was popping up and waving goodbye to the group at large. He took long, hurried strides across the room and Sonny watched him until he disappeared through the double doors.


	6. interlude: first kiss

Nick leaned back against the wall and deepened the kiss as he raised his hand to rest on the side of Sonny’s neck. Sonny hummed into his mouth a little and licked at Nick’s bottom lip before changing the angle slightly. It went on for what seemed like hours. The soft slick sounds and heavy breathing were the only thing Nick could dimly concentrate on between the thundering of his heart and the long press of Sonny along his front. The music from the party receded into the background and for a moment nothing else mattered.

But just as quickly as Sonny had started, he stopped and took a step back. His chest was heaving slightly and his eyes were bright when they met Nick’s. He chuckled nervously and tugged the front of his shirt down as he scanned the hallway.

“I think she’s gone,” Sonny croaked. He cleared his throat and then tried again. “Not bad for a proper first kiss, eh?” he said in a quieter tone with a little wiggle of his eyebrows.

Nick pushed back against the wall in order to stand up straighter. Where he had slouched down his shirt was now riding up his back. His lips felt swollen; he fought the urge to run a finger over them absently. He sniffed and pretended to look around as he got his bearings.

“Wasn’t our first,” Nick murmured without thinking. Sonny had claimed he’d spotted Maria making a beeline for them several minutes ago. Was it only minutes ago? Nick hadn’t had time to look around himself, but he hardly cared now.

“What?” Sonny asked with a frown. Nick kicked a foot back against the wall and tugged at the sleeves of his sweatshirt, Sonny’s sweatshirt actually, and looked up at him.

“Sixth grade. Seven minutes in heaven,” Nick replied with a tiny smirk. Sonny blushed a little and he ducked his head and scratched the back of his neck.

“Right. I thought you had forgotten,” he muttered in reply. Nick huffed out laughter and thought ‘not likely’ to himself.

“I’ve got a steel trap memory,” is what he said aloud to Sonny. He tapped a finger against his temple for emphasis before he reached for Sonny’s hand and threaded their fingers together. “Now let’s go get a drink.”


	7. chapter five

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A piece of paper was stuck in the pages and he dismissed it as belonging to the person before him who had this book before he saw his name scrawled along one side of it. He leaned back in his chair and balanced on the legs as he sat his pencil down and unfolded the paper. Sonny’s scrawl was recognizable, if not the most legible. The words on the page swum for a moment before he could parse out what they read.
> 
> I like your laugh. You should laugh more.

[ ](https://www.flickr.com/photos/183818140@N03/48626234316/in/dateposted/)

“Hi, stranger.”

Nick was already smiling before he turned, but he tried to tamp it down for when he finally made eye contact with Sonny. He pulled one last book from his locker, slammed the door shut and finally spun to greet him.

“Hi, yourself.” 

Okay, so he was not really all that successful in tamping down the smile. Sue him. They were at school and maybe Sonny wouldn’t think anything of the fact that he was smiling at him dopily. Sonny’s smile was equally as large, but that was hardly a marvel for him. He was always smiling.

“Let me walk you to class?” Sonny offered as he hoisted the strap of his backpack over his shoulder and gestured behind Nick down the hall.

Nick glanced in the direction of his classes, dodged someone who was shoving their friend and laughing, and leaned against his locker. He felt like he was overheating and the cool metal against his skin felt good. Maybe he was coming down with something?

“Shouldn’t I be the one walking you to class?” Nick countered with a nod of his own back the way Sonny had come.

Sonny’s nose wrinkled up and he tilted his head to the side slightly. There was a brief feeling like he was going to be eaten before Sonny spoke again.

“You know…there’s no "girl" in this relationship, right?” Sonny’s fingers curled in the air when he said the word ‘girl’ and he regarded Nick with something like thinly veiled disdain. Or pity. “Me walking you to class doesn’t have to be me doing anything other than walking my boyfriend to class because I want to.”

Nick flushed and tightened his grip on his books. The cardboard spine shifted under his knuckles and he hoped Sonny would chalk his blushing up to embarrassment about some kind of internalized misogny rather than happiness at the way the words ‘boyfriend’ and ‘relationship’ tripped off his lips. Jesus, he was losing it.

“I know that,” Nick huffed. He pushed off his lockers and began walking backwards towards his class. “I just thought you may need the escort…” he let his words trail off as Sonny slowly started walking. “Seeing as how clumsy you are.” Nick grinned victoriously. “Wouldn’t want you to get injured before the big debate match.”

Sonny shook his head, but couldn’t hide the grin threatening to break out again. He reached forward to shove Nick with a palm against his chest before pulling him into his side with an arm slung across his shoulders.

“You’re lucky I like you,” Sonny said as he began towing Nick down the hall as the first warning bell rang. “Because I do know ways of taking you out without anyone noticing.” 

Nick looked over at him, tripped over his own feet at how close Sonny’s face was to his, and had to be hauled up by Sonny’s grip on the shoulder of his jacket.

“And looks like I should be protecting you, anyway!” Sonny crowed as he steadied Nick and then gently pushed him in the direction of his class. “Come on, Romeo. If you make me late for chemistry there will be consequences.”

_______

Nick flipped open his math book slowly. He was already dreading the homework he had, not to even mention the test they had later this week. The pages stuck together and it took him a moment to find the practice questions he needed to complete before he went to bed. He’d already put it off as long as he could, but there was no way he’d pass the test if he didn’t at least try. Not that he had much confidence either way, but if he failed that meant no more football and without football school would truly be unbearable for the rest of the year.

A piece of paper was stuck in the pages and he dismissed it as belonging to the person before him who had this book before he saw his name scrawled along one side of it. He leaned back in his chair and balanced on the legs as he sat his pencil down and unfolded the paper. Sonny’s scrawl was recognizable, if not the most legible. The words on the page swum for a moment before he could parse out what they read.

_ I like your laugh. You should laugh more. _

With no one here to mock him, Nick smiled as widely as he wanted. He read and reread the note. The sun Sonny had doodled as a signature had sunglasses on it and he shook his head and stared it at a little longer before scooping up his phone before he could think better of it.

_this math is not very funny_  
  
**huh??**

Shoot. Nick wracked his brain for a casual way to bring up the note that didn’t make it seem like he was taking it too seriously. Nothing immediately popped up and he contemplated just tossing his phone out of the window before it buzzed as another message came through.

**oh!**

** haha. no, math usually isn’t. how are the practice problems coming? **

There. Nothing to be worried about. Just casual conversation between friends. Maybe Sonny had put the note in his book as an ice breaker because he liked talking to Nick, but wasn’t sure how to say it? Probably not, but Nick could still nurse that hope.

_they’re not :/ haven’t started yet_  


**do you need help?**

Yes. Yes, Nick needed a lot of help. With a lot of different things.

** nah. just need to concentrate probably. **

_ okay. I won’t bother you anymore. _

Shit. 

**you’re not bothering me. I like talking to you :)**

Was the smiley face too much. Too late now.

** but I won’t have you to help me pass the test on Friday, so I better work on these myself. thank you for the offer. **

alright. let me know if you change your mind  
  
** we still on for dinner at the diner after practice tomorrow? **

Nick frowned at his phone and wracked his brain. He really out to do better and start using his phone to make note of events and things. Sooner or later he’d be caught up in actually forgetting something important.

Right. The debate team was meeting up at the diner after practice and Nick had said he’d go, too.

**of course. I’m a man of my word.**  
  
_alright, Romeo. have fun with that math. _

It was another fifteen minutes before Nick stopped staring at his phone and reluctantly turned to his homework. He sighed and picked up his pencil again.

_______

“The door stays open!” 

“I know, ma!” 

Sonny yelled back down the stairs. Nick couldn’t see Sonny’s face, but he watched as the tip of his ears pinked. They continued up the stairs and Sonny turned into a room and ushered Nick inside with a sweep of his hands. He pushed the door halfway shut, a mini show of rebellion, and gestured to the room at large.

“Uh, make yourself at home,” he said as he fidgeted with his clothes. He looked nervous for some reason. “I’d give you a tour, but the room isn’t exactly that big…”

It was true. There was a twin sized bed pushed against the wall—Nick had no idea how Sonny managed to sleep in that as long as his legs were—a desk and chair across from that, a dresser and that was all in the way of furniture. Trophies lined a floating bookshelf and Sonny blushed when he saw Nick looking over at them.

“I don’t know why I even keep those,” he mumbled as he scratched the back of his neck. “Not that—"

“I’d keep them, too, if I had any,” Nick cut in as he walked closer. Some had the schools name on it and a few had just Sonny’s name. “You earned them.”

When he glanced back at Sonny over his shoulder there was a pleasantly surprised look on his face.

“I guess…”

Nick rolled his eyes, but let it go. He wanted to sit on the bed, but that felt too intimate, so he sat on the floor in front of it instead. Sonny sank down next to him and pulled his knees up to his chest.

“So…is it always like that?” Nick asked with a grin.

Sonny seemed relieved at the change in conversation topics and barked out a laugh.

“Always.”

Dinner had been nice, but chaotic. The flowers he’d brought for Mrs. Carisi seemed a little over the top once he’d arrived— Sonny had teased him and asked if they were for him, of course—but she still seemed touched by them before yelling up the stairs for the girls to come to the table. Nick wasn’t used to having so many people at the table and they all seemed to be talking at once. Ever more surprising, Sonny’s parents seemed to actually be able to follow the conversation of all of their children. Sonny’s oldest sister had graduated and was in college, but there was still Teresa and Bella. The girls chattered about school, some boy named Tommy and a field trip at the same time Sonny went on about how great debate was going. Nick could barely keep up, but he tried valiantly. He’d managed to ask everyone in the family at least one question that showed he was paying attention, in between bites of pillowy gnocchi, so he hoped that went towards something in helping them like him.

“Was it too much?” Sonny asked. 

There was a furrow dipping between his brow and Nick’s fingers twitched with the desire to smooth it out. He shook his head.

“Not at all. I hope they liked me. It was kind of hard to tell…” he brought up his fingers to his mouth and chewed on a cuticle absently.

“They loved you,” Sonny assured him sincerely. “Anyone who doesn’t run out of here screaming, they adore. You cleaned your plate, looked my dad in the eye, hugged my sisters and gave my mom flowers,” Sonny ticked off each point with his fingers. “The only one you didn’t quite charm was me.”

His grin told Nick he was teasing, but he still felt a pang of something that made him want to make it up to Sonny. He wanted Sonny to know how much he liked him. As a friend.

“I could have more tricks up my sleeve that I didn’t want to reveal in front of your family.” 

Nick wiggled his eyebrows and licked his bottom lip. Sonny looked intrigued and raised his own eyebrows as he grasped Nick’s arm. He pulled it towards himself and made a show of looking up Nick’s arms. It was a relatively warm night and his jacket was downstairs on a hook by the door so Sonny made a show of acting like Nick was wearing something overtop his t-shirt. He slid his fingers around Nick’s wrist and Nick barely suppressed a body shiver. 

Before he could think better of it, he used the grip Sonny had on him to pull him into a kiss. Sonny made a surprised noise, but he didn’t pull away. Instead, he slid his hand up Nick’s wrist and arm to his shoulder and pulled him closer. They pulled away after a moment and Nick regarded Sonny’s face and half-lidded eyes as his heart thundered in his chest. He wanted to say something—

“Mom! Sonny and his boyfriend are making out in his room!”

Bella’s voice pierced the air and they startled away from each other. Nick rubbed a hand over his hair roughly and Sonny hopped to his feet.

“No one likes a tattle tell,” he warned with arms outstretched and his sister took off with a shriek. He took off behind her and closed on her heels and their footsteps thundered down the hall.

Nick exhaled and let his head fall back against the bed. His eyes fluttered close and he let himself pretend, let himself believe. He brought a finger up to his mouth again, but this time to trace his bottom lip rather than chew his cuticles.

Shit.


	8. chapter six

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Well, expect to be wooed, Amaro.”

[ ](https://www.flickr.com/photos/183818140@N03/48625885998/in/dateposted/)

Nick watched from a distance as Sonny and Nick exited through the doors on the side of the school. Debate must have run over with preparation for the match coming up and Nick hadn’t mind waiting. He didn’t examine _why_ exactly he waited, considering that he could just as easily walk like he had been doing for years. Sonny and he had a routine now and if he wanted to stick to it, who was going to say anything about it? 

Sonny shoved Peter and even from this distance Nick could hear his laugh and Peter’s echoing one. There was easy affection between them from years of being friends and Nick watched as in the next moment Sonny threw his arm around Peter’s shoulder and pulled him into his side. An uncomfortable knot made itself known in the pit of Nick’s stomach and he wanted to turn away, but he forced himself to watch. Sonny and Peter stopped off further down the lot in front of Peter’s car. They talked some more, with Sonny waving his hands animatedly and Peter grinning. When Sonny pulled Peter into a goodbye hug Nick recognized the look in Peter’s eyes even from this distance. He’d seen the same goofy look on his own face when he’d gotten home from dinner at the Carisis the previous week. 

————

“Debate went well?” Nick called as Sonny drew closer to the car. 

He pushed off the hood and slid to the ground before bending to scoop up his backpack. It was covered in gravel from the parking lot and he brushed it off to stall before looking at Sonny. From this close up the power of that smile, no doubt elated from debate going well but also probably due to some inside joke with Peter, was hard to be on the receiving end. It was no problem when it was as a result of Sonny being genuinely happy to see Nick or when they were joking around, but he didn’t want someone else’s leftovers.

“Knocked it out of the park, as you jocks say,” Sonny teased as he mimed hitting a baseball.

He caught Nick’s eye with and wiggled his eyebrows.

“How’s my form?”

“Abysmal,” Nick replied instantly in a dry tone. He bit back his smile and opened the passenger door. “We’ll have to work on it before the spring.”

“Oh, yeah? You think we’ll still be doing this in the spring?” Sonny asked. 

Nick fidgeted with his seatbelt and concentrated on stowing his backpack between his legs before looking over at Sonny. He shrugged.

“Maybe. Either way, I cannot have you not knowing the proper way to hit a baseball. It’ll ruin my reputation,” he choked out in what he hoped amounted for a light, teasing tone.

“Roger that.” Sonny saluted before dropping his hand to Nick’s shoulder. He squeezed once with an easy smile before shoving the keys in the ignition to start the car. “Let’s go, captain.”

“Are you going to keep purposefully mixing up sports and military terms from now on?” Nick sighed.

Sonny grinned and this time it was all for Nick. He grinned back, but shook his head and tried to fight for a stern expression. It was a losing effort where Sonny was concerned.

“Probably,” Sonny replied gleefully. “I love when you get that little crease between your eyebrows every time I do it.” He pointed to Nick’s forehead. “That one there! I’ve grown mighty fond of it in our time together.”

“Our time together?” Nick repeated.

“Not you and I.” Sonny began backing out of the parking space clearly. “Me and the crease. We’ve developed a kinship.”

“What did they feed you at debate today?” Nick shot Sonny a long-suffering look.

“Victory.” Sonny bared his teeth in another smile. “Sweet, sweet victory.”

* * *

_ you promise he doesn’t suspect anything? _

** I promise. jeez. you’re worst than sonny. all he talks about is ‘nick this’ and ‘nick that.’ guess the two of you deserve each other.  
** ** come over at 5 like we planned. sonny has tutoring until 6 and that will give you plenty of time to reenact your teen romcom or whatevs. **

_ thank you, bella.  
I’ll owe you one. _

** you sure will, loverboy.  
see you then. **

Nick pocketed his phone with a half smile. He had a couple of hours before he could head to the Carisis and set up his surprise for Sonny. That left him enough time to pick up some last minute items, shower and fix his hair. He ran a hand over said hair and made a face. Maybe a haircut, first. The curls were getting unruly.

* * *

Nick heard the back door open again. He was straightening the blanket for the nth time, nerves getting the best of him. First, he was nervous about the whole thing to begin with. He had no idea how Sonny would react. Well, that’s not completely true. He had some idea how he’d react, but there was no guarantee. Sonny did manage to surprise him. Then there was the fact that Sonny was running later than Bella had said. It was only fifteen minutes, but with each passing moment Nick felt his blood pressure rise. His cuticles were bitten down and he had rearranged the tiny tea lights three times in the last ten minutes alone.

“Bella, are you sure he didn’t have other plans? I feel like maybe he’s not—”

Nick turned, but Bella wasn’t the one standing just outside. It was Sonny. Finally.

“Coming,” Nick finished faintly.

“What’s all this?” Sonny asked in confusion with a tilt of his head. 

He took hesitant steps towards Nick and Nick hastened to his feet. It was a nice spread. Sushi, because it was Sonny’s favorite food currently. Dessert that he’d picked up from the bakery near the house that Sonny had grown to love after stealing a bite from a pastry his mom had packed in his lunch. Nick had gone back and forth about the flowers, finally landing on getting them. Maybe they were a little cheesy, but Sonny was known for liking cheesy stuff. The tea lights and pillar candles were battery operated, after all, Sonny was still coordination challenged. Nick was proud of his work and he rubbed his hands on his jeans roughly and gestured to the blanket.

“I told you I had some tricks up my sleeve.”

Sonny drew closer and a smile began to to bloom across his face. He looked between Nick and the spread, smiling more and more as he no doubt recognized the little details.

“If I had known this is what I was coming home to, I wouldn’t have taken the long way,” Sonny quipped. He closed the distance between them and wrapped his arms around Nick in a firm hug. “This is the nicest thing anyone has ever done for me.” His breath puffed over Nick’s ear and Nick returned his grip and smiled.

“You’re just lucky I didn’t eat all of the conchas before you got here,” he teased as he pulled away and used his grip on Sonny’s wrist to tug him to the blanket. “I was getting hungry waiting for you.”

“Well, I’m here now. Man, you did all of this with Bella’s help?” Sonny still looked stunned even as he took the chopsticks Nick offered him.

Nick nodded. 

“Yeah. It’s not much. Just a little something to get your mind off of debate and tutoring and school. A little something fun.” Nick shrugged and slot his own chopsticks in his hand. “Dig in.”

“This is really nice of you, Nick,” Sonny said again sincerely as he reached for a piece of sushi. “I’m going to have to think of something big to top this.” 

He looked over at Nick thoughtfully as he chewed. Nick grinned and looked away as he felt his face heat up. He’d never even considered that Sonny would want to do something nice for him in turn. It had been all about making Sonny feel appreciated and that he was happy was reward enough for him.

“Oh, I don’t know about that…” he mumbled around a piece of his own sushi.

“Oh, definitely,” Sonny pressed as he reached for another piece. He tucked his legs under him and crossed them. “Maria strikes me as one of those people who does over the top things. I’ve gotta top all of this _plus_ all of that.”

Nick huffed out laughter and reached for the bottle of sparkling lemonade. He shook his head and licked his bottom lip.

“Maria does do over the top things,” he confirmed. “But never anything like this for me. She’d leave me notes and stuff…but that was about it…She left the gestures to me.”

“Well, that’s not very fair,” Sonny said faintly.

Nick finished pouring a cup of lemonade for Sonny before handing it over to him. There was a soft look in Sonny’s eyes, but beyond it, something reserved. Nick shrugged again.

“It worked for us.”

“Well, expect to be wooed, Amaro.” Sonny shook himself and the look faded back into his usual sunniness. “I’m going to knock your socks off.”


	9. chapter seven

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Prove it,” Nick challenged.
> 
> “Oh, I will, Amaro,” Sonny promised. “When’s the last time you were on skates.”
> 
> Never, Nick’s brain supplied.
> 
> “Not as recently…”
> 
> He fidgeted and knew he was caught out, but the look on Sonny’s face was anything other than triumphant or smug. Sonny offered his hand with a small smile.
> 
> “Come on, lover boy. I’ll teach you. Promise not to let you fall.”

[ ](https://www.flickr.com/photos/183818140@N03/48695216167/in/dateposted-public/)

“I still can’t believe you convinced your parents to let you go,” Nick repeated as they waited by the bus to grab their bags. “And then used them to convince my parents to let me come.”

Brightly colored bags tumbled to the ground as the hatch opened before the driver could grab them. He righted the fallen bags and began unloading the rest to the side in neat piles. There had been strict instructions to wait until he was out of the way before anyone grabbed for their stuff, so the air was peppered by excited chatter and the occasion peal of laughter. No parents and few chaperones for an entire weekend. Granted the halls were (allegedly) going to be patrolled and there wasn’t much trouble anyone could get into, but it still felt nice to have a slice of freedom. Soon, there would be plenty of it and this time next year almost everyone would be in college or working in the real world. For another weekend they got to straddle the line between teenager and adult and enjoy the benefits of both.

“You’re not the only one with tricks up his sleeve,” Sonny replied with a smile and brush of his shoulder against Nick’s. “I told you I was going to woo you.”

“The bar is pretty low. You definitely didn’t have to do all this.”

Nick gestured at the parking lot and beyond it the lodge where everyone was staying and Sonny ducked his head for a moment. When he met Nick’s eye again he look pleased with himself, clearly happy that this was something Nick was excited about and that he’d been the one to orchestrate.

“But I did,” Sonny tossed back with an arch of his eyebrow and another jostle of Nick. “So let’s enjoy it.”

“Oh, I plan.”

Nick smiled widely and they stood there in their bubble smiling at each other before the bus driver announced all the bags were unloaded. People started pushing on both sides and Sonny got swept away a few inches in the crowd.

“Meet me on the front porch in thirty?” he called to Nick.

Nick nodded and Sonny gave him the okay symbol with his fingers before turning and getting swallowed up in the melee. As much as he was ready to go check out his room, he was sharing with a friend of Olivia’s named Rafael, he hated crowds. The sound around him got louder as people jockeyed to find their stuff and make plans with their friends. He stepped back and to the side of the crowd. Thirty minutes was plenty of time and he was in no rush.

—— ——

“Uhh…” Nick trailed off as he looked at the rink before them.

They’d both gotten situated in their rooms. Nick with Rafael, who he discovered he actually found kind of funny. Sonny with Peter. Nick tried his hardest not to think about that and how much he wished it was him sharing the room with Sonny instead. He shook himself mentally and came back to the present moment.

“Are you sure this is a good idea?” he finished when it was apparent Sonny wasn’t going to fill in what he was thinking.

It was also clear from the twinkling in his eye that he knew exactly what Nick was thinking, but he was going to make him say it.

“What do you mean?” he asked in faux innocence.

Nick gestured to the skaters before them.

“You. On ice. In skates. I mean…I know I tease you, but the coordination thing has really got me abit concerned here.”

To his surprise, Sonny threw back his head and laughed. He laughed hard enough that the people nearest to them glanced over at them with various looks of surprise, annoyance and amusement of their own. It didn’t seem to phase Sonny and it was another few moments before he quieted down.

“Gosh. I knew seeing your face would be priceless, but it was even better in person than I imagined.”

Nick warmed under the praise, even though he knew that’s not how Sonny meant it, and he hoped it would be chalked up to the blustery wind. The glare off of someone’s skates had him wincing and squinting and he locked away and back at Sonny.

“I used to play ice hockey,” Sonny went on. There was a smile dogging his words and the warmth in his eyes made Nick want to step closer. “Up until middle school. Then I didn’t have as much time to do that and the rest of school stuff, but,” he shrugged, “I’m surprisingly agile out there.”

“Prove it,” Nick challenged.

“Oh, I will, Amaro,” Sonny promised. “When’s the last time _you_ were on skates.”

Never, Nick’s brain supplied.

“Not as recently…”

He fidgeted and knew he was caught out, but the look on Sonny’s face was anything other than triumphant or smug. Sonny offered his hand with a small smile.

“Come on, lover boy. I’ll teach you. Promise not to let you fall.”

Nick linked his gloved fingers with Sonny’s and allowed himself to be pulled towards the skate rentals. There was already a decent number of people from school at the rink and he wondered if he was making a mistake. The last thing he wanted was an audience when he no doubt busted his butt on the ice, Sonny’s well meaning promise be damned.

“You don’t trust me?” Sonny asked. He was clearly delighted by this turn of events, but he still picked up on Nick’s trepidation. A plump and rosy bottom lip stuck out in his face against the clear blue of his eyes and Nick was momentarily silenced by just how striking Sonny was. 

“It’s not you I don’t trust,” he admitted grudgingly as they inched forward in line. “I think I’m a little too old to learn, don’t you?”

“Nah, not at all. We’ll go slow. I promise.” Sonny unlinked his fingers and brought his arm around Nick’s shoulders. “And then, I’ll buy you hot cocoa after to warm you up.”

“That all you going to do to warm me up?” Nick asked. He was stunned by his own boldness, but it was more than worth the shock and then pleased look that flit across Sonny’s face.

“Maybe…” Sonny drawled. He pulled Nick closer. “Guess you’ll have to follow my lead and trust me on that, too.”

The rest of the weekend continued in a similar manner. Occasionally they met up with the friends of theirs that had also managed to convince their parents to allow them to come on the trip, but mostly they spent time together. There was a winter carnival of sorts that Nick allowed Sonny to drag him into and they shared cups of cider and cocoa between trying to win each other prizes at rigged games. It was easy to forget they were pretending, in the genuine enjoyment they had in each other’s presence, and by now they were solidified in people’s mind. NickandSonny. One word. Full stop. Sunday came too soon.

* * *

“Sorry again for keeping you,” Peter apologized as he began shuffling his notecards and carefully slotting them back into their organizer. “I know you had plans.”

“It’s alright. We want to win this match. Plus, Nick understands. The party started thirty minutes ago so I doubt he’s even missed me yet.” Sonny straightened the papers he had laying on the floor and crossed the room to his closet. “Just going to change and then be out of here.”

“Change?”

“Mmhmm,” Sonny hummed absently. He shuffled around in his closet, intent on the blue t-shirt Nick once said made his eyes stand out. It was a couple weeks after they had gone on the beach trip and he was still riding the wave of excitement he got from the prospect of spending more time with Nick. “Going to switch tees. Gotta put your best foot forward even if you are already dating,” he joked.

“Right.”

Peter’s voice was unreadable and he wanted to turn, but at that moment his hand also found the shirt in question. He fist pumped and exclaimed in victory, yanking it off the hanger and then turning back to his friend. With one hand he tossed the t-shirt on the bed and the other closed on the hem of the shirt he was wearing to begin tugging it over his head.

“You want to wait for me and we can walk out together?” Sonny asked through the fabric before tossing it to the bed and scooping up his blue t-shirt. He shook it out and turned it around so that he could pull it on. “What are you up to tonight?”

“How serious are you two?” Peter asked in lieu of answering Sonny’s questions.

Sonny finished pulling on the shirt and yanked at the hem to get it to lay right on his shoulder. He sniffed his armpit and crossed the room to his dresser where his deodorant was neatly lined up along with other various toiletries. Serious, he hoped. No matter how this had started, it felt real now. He swiped on deodorant as he thought about how much he hoped Nick felt the same.

“Uhh,” he laughed uncomfortably and busied himself with uncapping his deodorant. “You know. Pretty serious,” Sonny hazarded. 

He glanced over at Peter expectantly.

“Why?”

“I just…” Peter clenched his fist then looked away. 

He exhaled hard and hoisted his backpack on his shoulder. Sonny thought he was going to turn and storm away, but instead he drew nearer. Nervous fingers rubbed along the top of his glasses in a familiar gesture Sonny had seen dozens of times before. Never aimed at him, though.

“I like you, Sonny.”

Sonny’s smile blossomed across his face. “Well, I like you, too, Peter. We’ve been friends long enough that I thought you would have gotten that by now,” he joked.

Peter shook his head and took another step forward. When his hand came up to land on the side of Sonny’s neck gently Sonny’s smile began to fade. He studied Peter’s face intently, seeing that beneath the frustration was a spark of something like expectation or hope.

“I like you as more than a friend, Sonny,” Peter clarified gently. Sonny opened his mouth, then shut it, then opened it again, but Peter went on. “I just…I thought you should know. Kinda thought you already knew, to be honest,” Peter chuckled without humor. “Thought I was pretty obvious.”

“Peter…I had no idea…” Sonny found himself still at a loss for words and not entirely sure how to navigate this moment without losing his friend by saying the wrong thing.

“Yeah, I’m getting that now.” Peter let his hand fall to his side, but it dragged down Sonny’s neck before retreating. He took a step back and drew his hands to the straps of his backpack again. “I just thought you should know.” The smile on his lips was faint.

“I’m not sure—”

“You don’t have to say anything. I get it. You’re with Nick. He’s lucky to have you. I just…I didn’t want to graduate without you knowing. Have fun at the party okay?” He smiled bravely and took another few steps back. “I’ll see you at school.”

“See you at school,” Sonny echoed faintly as Peter waved limply and then turned and strode from the room.

————

“Dump someone else?”

Nick groaned internally and buried his face in the cup in his hand. Damn Sonny for being late and leaving him to be cornered by his ex. The purpose of this whole agreement was to get Maria off his back, and yet here he was, cornered by her at a party. 

Nick looked over the rim of his plastic cup at her in a glower and she tossed her hands in the air in surrender with a laugh like wind chimes.

“I’m kidding,” she said delicately with a little circle of her hand in the air. 

“Funny,” Nick muttered.

Maria rolled her eyes and socked him on the shoulder. 

“Lighten up, will you? We used to joke around, didn’t we? We had fun?” She asked the questions lightly and there was still the same smile on her face, but something in the careful way she was holding herself told Nick there was more riding on these questions than she wanted to convey. It was like she actually wanted the reassurance rather than trying to needle him.

“We did have fun,” Nick admitted reluctantly. He let his cup drop from in front of his mouth and shifted his weight. “When we weren’t fighting.”

“I miss us.” 

The words fell from her mouth and landed on the ground between them like a heavy weight. Nick sighed and shifted his weight again, ready to stop her in her tracks. They’d already had this conversation and there was no need for them to keep having it.

“Maria,” he started after looking heavenward.

“I’m serious, Nick,” she interrupted in a small voice. 

She took a step closer and Nick regretted finding a quiet place to chill because it meant that there was hardly anyone around to distract either of them. A red head bobbed in his peripheral, but the person turned before he could see their face.

“No, you’re not.” Nick’s contradiction was harsh. “You’re just bored…or lonely….or both. We’ve already had this discussion. I’m with Sonny and we’re happy together.”

“I don’t think you’re telling the truth,” Maria challenged. She pushed up close to him, hand with her own cup in it nearly pressed against his chest. “I think you just wanted to get back at me. But this has gone on long enough. I get it, okay? And I miss you. Truly. You were a good boyfriend.”

“I am a good boyfriend,” Nick replied. “Which is why I think you need to—”

“Just think about it,” she cut him off again with a hand to his chest. “Please? Think about the good times we had, really think. Then come back to me with your answer. Can you do that, please?”

“Maria.”

“Please, Nick. For us. We’re all about to go off to college soon and then everything will change. I don’t want us to waste this time over a stupid mistake I made by not appreciating what we had. Think about, okay? Okay?” 

She kept pressing and Nick finally gave in. He nodded and threw a hand in the air.

“Fine. I’ll think about it. Now, Sonny’s supposed to be here any moment…”

“I’ll leave,” Maria answered. Her lips curved up into a sweet smile and it made Nick’s chest ache familiarly. “I don’t want you to get into trouble.” That slightly mischievous smile was back. “I want to get you back fair and square.”

With that she leaned up to press a kiss to his cheek before turning and sauntering away and into the crowd. Nick let his head fall back against the wall behind him and this time took a large gulp of the beer in his cup. It wasn’t cold any longer, what with him clutching the plastic for dear life, and he set about going to get a fresh cup. Maybe Sonny would be arriving soon, or he may already be here. He pulled his phone out of his back pocket as he went, searching for a message from his boyfriend and completely missing the look Casey shot him as she chewed on her bottom lip and watched him walk off


	10. chapter eight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Being second choice for someone he wanted to make his first choice stung. The fries were churning in his stomach and as he paid at the register he ignored his phone buzzing away in his pocket. He didn’t want to hear the apology, the explanation or the pity. He just wanted to be left alone and forget he’d ever had this stupid idea, and even worse, had gotten his stupid heart broken in the process.

[ ](https://www.flickr.com/photos/183818140@N03/48695216062/in/dateposted-public/)

Sonny arrived before Nick, which wasn’t much of a surprise. Nick had insisted on meeting Sonny there and not getting picked up, so Sonny estimated it would be another ten minutes before Nick rushed in with apologies tripping off his tongue. The pages of the menu tried to stick together when Sonny flipped it open for something to do. Cleaning agent wafted up into his face when he finally pried them apart and he wanted to tell the people working at the diner not to bother. Some things would always be stuck, no amount of cleaner could undo that. They’d been to this exact diner plenty of times, Sonny even more so with debate. It had become a lighthouse of sorts, offering refuge and bright pats of sunny butter on thick, but light pancakes served up at eight in the evening. The food was always good and the company was better.

The wrapper from the straw crumpled under Sonny’s fingers before being cast away and his energy got aimed at the salt shaker, the menu again and then the plastic cup of water on the table. Rivulets of water sweat from the glass and pooled on the table and Sonny dragged his finger through one before rubbing his palms on his jeans roughly. He was nervous, but excited. Sure, he’d heard about what Maria had said to Nick in the kitchen of the party when Sonny was running late. Casey had relayed Nick’s response as well, but none of it phased him. The high of a perfect weekend at the beach and the subsequent days of fizzy joy couldn’t be dampened by exes or even fake relationships. In fact, Sonny had gotten it in his mind that he was going to level with Nick tonight, at this diner. Yes, when they had started off this thing wasn’t too serious. But the time for pretending had run its course and he was going to summon up a corner of bravery to tell Nick he wanted this thing to be real. As it had been, almost from the beginning.

Sonny glanced at his phone again. No messages and now fifteen minutes after the time they agreed to meet. He shook his head with a long suffering smile and debated. On one hand, he could text Nick a reminder and be smug when he slid in late and apologetic, vowing to make it up to Sonny. On the other, Nick was probably on his way and Sonny was feeling especially generous today. He slid his water over towards him and took a large gulp. 

“Get you an appetizer while you wait for your friend?” the waitress asked as she breezed by again.

Sonny’s stomach rumbled and that was his answer. He turned and gave her a sheepish smile.

“Yes, please. Can I get uh…an order of your curly fries? With cheese?” Nick’s favorite. Although, if he was much later Sonny wouldn’t be sharing.

“You got it. Won’t take long at all.”

And it didn’t. The order was out in little time and Sonny made work of the fries and sucked down his water. He had wanted to order a soda, but the caffeine would make him even more jittery and that was the last thing he needed. Soon, he was halfway through the fries and still no Nick. He was worried now and he wiped off his greasy fingers on a napkin haphazardly before pulling out his phone again.

** you okay? **

The reply came quickly.

_ course. you? _

Sonny slowed down his chewing and tilted his head at his phone in confusion. This wasn’t Nick’s usual apologetic response.

** ….well, I think my boyfriend stood me up for dinner. **

See, Sonny could be casual about it. Things happened. Nick was bad about writing events down and Sonny usually reminded him. He should have reminded him.

_ oh, shit! _

_ shit! _

_ I’m so sorry, Sonny. _

That was more like it.

** I was talking to Maria and it totally slipped my mind.  **

** I’m sorry. **

** give me 10? **

** I’ll run the whole way. **

The fries solidified into a heavy weight in Sonny’s stomach and he pushed the plate back. He signaled to the waitress for the check with a thin smile before looking back at his phone. Nick had forgotten. Worse than that, he had forgotten and was talking to Maria, maybe even with her. Casey was right and Sonny felt foolish. He wiped his mouth with his napkin and ignored the tremble in his hand. How stupid had he been to think this could ever be real?

** don’t bother. **

** Casey told me you and Maria talked at the party. guess you made your decision. **

He shot the waitress another smile when she dropped off the check, ignoring the sympathy in her eyes as he slid out of the booth. Being second choice for someone he wanted to make his first choice stung. The fries were churning in his stomach and as he paid at the register he ignored his phone buzzing away in his pocket. He didn’t want to hear the apology, the explanation or the pity. He just wanted to be left alone and forget he’d ever had this stupid idea, and even worse, had gotten his stupid heart broken in the process.

* * *

Sonny stared down at his lunch morosely, tuning out the usual cafeteria chatter and wishing the day was over. School felt like a minefield. He’d managed to dodge Nick so far by varying his usual routine, but part of him still scanned the room for him hopefully before remembering all over again. It was painful and he was already tired of the concerned looks Peter was giving him. He’d had the same expression since Sonny broke the news and quite frankly, Sonny had expected elation given Peter’s confession. If anything, Peter looked sad and guilty though for the life of him Sonny could not figure out why.

“Sonny, can I talk to you.”

Sonny froze and the conversation at the table petered off. Knowing Nick, he wasn’t deterred. Before Sonny even looked up he had a feeling he’d see the familiar stubborn expression on his face wanting an explanation or a fight or some kind of finality. Before he could do anything other than stare up at him in disbelief, Peter replied.

“I don’t think he wants to talk to you.” The words were low and tone mild, but there was a set to Peter’s jaw that rivaled Nick’s own.

“I’d like to hear that from Sonny, if it’s all the same to you,” Nick said through gritted teeth. “Already know you’re over the moon at this turn of events,” he mumbled under his breath.

Sonny got to his feet at that, already pushing Nick away from the table as Peter spluttered.

“It’s fine,” Sonny muttered with a cautionary look back at Peter. “I got this.”

When they were a ways away Sonny let his hands drop. Nick continued to a relatively quiet corner, one that at the very least no one could really eavesdrop. He looked at Sonny expectantly as stubbornness gave way to dismay.

“I’m sorry I was late to meeting you at the dinner,” he opened with in a pleading voice. His eyes were round like they got when he was apologetic and his eyebrows knit together. “Really. I’m sorry, okay? I got—”

“I don’t want to hear it,” Sonny interrupted with an irritable wave of his hand. “I get it. Whatever.”

“So we’re okay?”

Sonny chuckled without mirth and brought up a hand to scratch at his eyebrow.

“Sure. We’re okay,” he replied blandly. 

“So…we can go to the diner this week? My treat to make up for everything?” Nick asked hopefully.

“Nick…this is—why don’t you take Maria, okay? She’s who you really want to bring. You don’t owe me anything. This…thing…we were doing was fun, but it’s over now. No need to pretend to be friends.” Sonny shifted his weight and avoided Nick’s eye.

“What are you talking about?” Nick sounded genuinely bewildered and Sonny made eye contact with him again.

“Casey heard your conversation with Maria at the party before I arrived. I know all about her wanting to win you back ‘fair and square.’ She can have you. This was fake anyway and I think enough is enough,” Sonny replied firmly.

“I don’t—Sonny, I don’t want Maria.”

“I wish I believed that,” Sonny bit out.

“Belie—I’m telling the truth!” Nick was turning the corner from bewildered to mad and strangely it made Sonny more calm. “Whatever Casey overheard, if you had concerns I wish you would have told me instead of just springing this on me. You’re not letting me tell you how I actually feel! Where do you get off thinking you know me?”

“I know better you than you think, Nick Amaro,” Sonny replied, stabbing his finger in the air. “I know your game stats, I know you love chocolate milk even though your dad says it’s for little kids, I know you slept with a stuffed animal until you were thirteen, I know that when you’re nervous you fidget with your clothes,” Sonny began to tick off. “I know you’re dyslexic and that’s why your homework takes you so long and why I call you more than text.” 

Nick looked taken aback.

“I know you. And I know that when you care about something, you make it a priority. You made Maria a priority over me and that tells me everything I need to know. Just…let it go. Please.”

With that Sonny sent Nick one last disappointed look before turning on his heel and walking back to his table. Nick stood there for a few moments, wondering if he should go after Sonny. In the end, he decided not to and he trudged back to where he’d left his stuff sitting next to Olivia.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> please come say hi to me on tumblr! I'm @carisi-dreams :)


	11. chapter nine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I think you should be my boyfriend.” Nick smiled and Sonny could tell he was nervous, but determined. He held up a piece of paper in his hand and Sonny pretended it wasn’t shaking like a leaf on a windy day. “Do you want to hear my opening argument?”

[ ](https://www.flickr.com/photos/183818140@N03/48695215942/in/dateposted-public/)

Sonny hated to admit how tough it was to go back to his normal routine. Not once had he considered what would happen if at the end of this it wasn’t a mutual casual parting. Sure, he’d found Nick attractive for years, but physical attraction wasn’t everything. No, it was the way Nick let himself be vulnerable, the ways he was sweet to Sonny in the way teenage boys very rarely had the capacity to be, the way he never interrupted one of Sonny’s rambles and never made him feel like he was less important than Nick that got to him. Those had been the qualities that Sonny had found most attractive and the stack only increased over time. He’d been keeping a running list in his head at first and then quickly given up. It was a lost cause and next time—not literally because he was _never_ doing this again—next time he’d do bit more planning.

He slammed his locker shut and slung his backpack over his shoulder as the first warning bell chimed. Great, and now he’d have to rush to class because he was _still_ mooning over Nick. He was a teen movie in waiting and he rolled his eyes at himself and sped up down the hall. Someone tossed a greeting at him as he went and he called back something casual as he rounded the corner to his classroom and slid into his seat with a few seconds to spare. Allowing himself to sag into the unyielding plastic he rearranged his backpack by his feet.

A corner of something white caught his eye in one of the pockets and he leaned in closer to get a better look. The teacher was doing something up front, taking roll perhaps, but Sonny was distracted and he unzipped his bag and plunged his hand inside the pocket. Out came a white envelope in his hand with his name in blocky letter across the front. He flushed all over and had the distinct feeling of going from being chased to having a bucket of cold water poured over his head. It was a thin envelope, but it managed to feel heavy even as Sonny screwed up his face and shoved it back in his bag. 

He’d throw it away at home.

—————

“So.” Peter began packing his books and when he glanced up at Sonny with a look of trepidation on his face Sonny felt a peculiar sense of deja vu. He winced internally, but tried to school his face into something neutral. “I know it may be kind of awkward—”

“Not at all,” Sonny rushed to dismiss with a flail of his hands. Well, overshot that one, he told himself as Peter stilled and the sides of his mouth pulled out. 

“I’m not—I’m not talking about _that_.” They both knew what _that_ was and what it entailed and Sonny smartly kept his mouth shut. “I’m talking about…I know it may be awkward,” he started again deliberately, “but if you want to talk…I’m here.”

Sonny stared at him blankly.

“I know that you were really into Nick.” Oh, God, not _this_ conversation. This was almost worse than bringing up the fact that the last the two of them were in this room Peter had confessed to having feelings for him. “If you want to talk, I’m here. I’m a good listener,” Peter said lightly.

He returned his gaze to his backpack and continued packing up. The bed squeaked when Sonny sank down onto it casually. He thought about the letter that was still in his backpack and not in the trash like he’d told himself he’d do right when he got home. By now hours had passed since he’d gotten home.

“Thank you,” Sonny replied haltingly. For one long moment he desperately wanted to spill the whole truth—the fake relationship, falling for Nick, everything—but he held himself back. The real story was even more cringe worthy than the fake one and it all amounted to the same thing, anyway. Sonny had gotten hurt and he needed time. Time and space.

“I appreciate the offer.” This time his words were warmer and sincere. “I’m just not ready to talk about it.”

“Now, I know it must have been serious,” Peter joked as he zipped his backpack. The chair caught on the carpet as Peter pushed it in and picked his backpack from where it had been resting. He wrestled it under the desk and then turned to face Sonny fully. “You, not ready to talk?”

Sonny chuckled drily and nodded as his gaze felt to his feet. 

“Tell me about it.”

“Well, if you change your mind…I’m here for you, Sonny.”

Sonny smiled and glanced back up. Peter smiled faintly and nodded at him before turning and exiting. Stretching his arms out wide Sonny let himself fall back on the bed. He closed his eyes and pretended.

—————

“Come on, I don’t want to be late,” Nick chided Olivia as they got out of the car. 

She was half a pace behind him so he missed the scathing look she sent his way.

“How would we be late? We’re five minutes early and literally just about to walk into the building.”

“This is important to Sonny, okay?” Nick turned to crane his head over his shoulder. “So it’s important to me. I don’t know if he even—”

“Read the letter,” Olivia finished with a hand on Nick’s shoulder. She sped up her pace to fall into pace with him as they weaved in between cars and made a beeline for the double doors on the front of the building. “I know. I’m here, okay? It’ll all work out.”

“Easy for you to say,” Nick shot at her. Anxiety bled through his voice and he patted his pocket to make sure the paper was still there. The echoing crinkle was a small comfort. “You never messed up this badly with Alex.”

There was a long pause and when Olivia didn’t immediately chime in Nick actually stopped walking. He turned to peer into her face and there was a grim set to her jaw.

“Liv?”

“It’s a long story,” she dismissed with a wave of her hand. She tucked her hair behind her ear and let her gaze drift to the door and beckoned to it. “Let’s go get Sonny back, okay?”

“Okay,” Nick agreed, drawing out the word. “But we’ll talk about this later.”

“Hardly matters now,” Olivia laughed as she continued on, tugging on Nick this time. Nick didn’t agree and he made a mental note to ask her. There had been the summer Alex had disappeared and dropped off the face of the planet, but Nick figured that even if no one else had spoken to Alex, certainly Olivia had been in touch with her. Maybe he’d been wrong.

They entered the building and had no issue finding the right room. The debate hadn’t yet begun, but they still slunk into the room in an attempt to remain unobtrusive. Nick didn’t want them to be spotted at all. He didn’t want Sonny to know he was here until the very end. Win or lose, he hoped Sonny would be happy to see him. He plunged his hand into his pocket again and fingered the already creased paper. Olivia had helped him with it some, but it had been mostly her friend Rafael who had done the bulk of the coaching. They had hit it off during the beach weekend and Nick had been grateful for his help.

Beside him Olivia looped her arm through his before slouching down in her seat. The room was surprisingly about three quarters full. They were in the second to last row tucked away in a corner and Nick hoped that with the poor lighting they wouldn’t be noticed by anyone. This wasn’t his first debate, he’d held up his end of the deal as much as Sonny had by attending his games, but this was one of the more important ones. Nick still had trouble following it all, but he was pretty sure if they won this one they were eligible to enter into a regional tournament. Hopefully Sonny could win another trophy to add to his collection.

The match dragged on to Nick. It was interesting, sure, and Sonny was electric, but he was on edge the entire time. When he had glanced over at Olivia she had been rapt, nearly leaning forward in her seat as she followed the action. He was glad she was enjoying it. By the time the verdict had come in and the judge had decided Sonny’s team had won Nick had bitten down all of his cuticles. He clapped with everyone else at the announcement and if he clapped hard enough to warm his palms then no one but him had to know. 

The lights were turned up in the room and people began filing out of the room. Some were smiling, some were not, and Nick’s own smile was fading as his nerves ramped back up. He got to his feet with his eyes glued to Sonny. As if he felt Nick staring at him even from the stage Sonny suddenly turned and looked directly at Nick. Olivia made some kind of noise beside him, but Nick couldn’t extract words if there had been any. Instead, he raised a hand in a half hearted wave. Sonny just stared back before turning to his friends and saying something and then making his way down the stairs and towards Nick.

“What are you doing here?” he asked when he was within earshot of Nick.

“I wouldn’t miss this,” Nick replied with an encouraging smile and a gesture around the room. “I know how important this was to you. Congratulations.” He kicked himself for not bringing some kind of gift. 

“Thanks.” 

There was no usual sunny smile, instead in its place was a cautious barely upturn of his lips. Nick wished he had this part on paper, too, but he had been determined to say how he felt from his heart. Now his palms were growing clammier by the minute and he could tell Sonny was half a beat from turning and walking away.

“You said,” his mouth was dry and he paused to clear his throat. Sonny looked at him curiously. “You said that when I care about something I make it a priority.” Sonny’s eyes shuttered and Nick spread his hands and took a few steps towards Sonny as he tried to smile. “I care about you, Sonny. So I couldn’t miss this.”

When Sonny didn’t immediately throw himself at Nick’s feet he pressed on. The more Sonny remained quiet, the more determined Nick felt. He hadn’t walked away and that’s all Nick could ask for in this moment—a chance to be heard.

“You’re a priority to me,” Nick pressed. “And I know I let you down. I’m sorry for that, more than you may realize. I’m shit with remembering things sometimes and I should have written it down. I’d have rather been with you and when I realized how much I screwed up I felt so bad…but also so good. Because I wanted to see you and I didn’t have to make up an excuse since we’d had plans all along.”

Sonny looked away and licked his bottom lip. His hands came up to his hips and he mumbled under his breath.

“I know,” Nick inched closer. 

“It’s shitty and I felt horrible and I still feel horrible. I know that it’s not as bad as I caused you to feel and I’m really, really sorry for that, Sonny. But I came here because I wanted to tell you how I feel.” Sonny looked back at him. “I like you, Sonny Carisi. I like your crazy family, and your trophies, and your sarcasm, and how open you are. You’re the kind of person who sees a situation and dives right in to help. You helped me in a dozen different ways. I like you and…”

Nick paused and took a deep breath.

“I think you should be my boyfriend. For real this time.” 

Nick smiled and it was obvious he was nervous, but determined. He held up a piece of paper in his hand and hoped Sonny would pretend it wasn’t shaking like a leaf on a windy day. 

“Do you want to hear my opening argument?”

He watched as Sonny pretended to think for half a second before smiling to himself and shaking his head. Nick’s face fell and behind him Olivia made a noise. With another two steps Sonny closed the gap between them and drew his hand to Nick’s face. He smiled and mentally said hello to the freckles across Nick’s nose. How he’d miss seeing them even as they faded more and more the deeper they got into winter.

Sonny leaned his head in close and and let his nose brush against Nick’s. Nick felt rooted to the floor and when he didn’t object or pull away Sonny closed the gap between them and caught Nick in a soft, closed mouth kiss. When he pulled back slightly Nick’s eyes remained closed and he missed the way Sonny smiled to himself.

“My research shows that will not be necessary. I don’t think I need to hear it at all,” Sonny breathed.

“I had a whole thing prepared,” Nick said faintly. The paper rustled again and Sonny huffed out laughter in a puff of air across Nick’s lips.

“Read it to me later. For now, I’d just like to kiss my boyfriend, if that’s okay.”

“No objections.”

And this time when Sonny went to close the space between them Nick met him in the middle.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you so much for reading! I hope to see you over on my tumblr or right back here for the next story.


	12. interlude: fish tacos & other firsts

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> heed the updated warnings! this one gets steamy.

“These tacos…” Sonny groaned after he stuffed the last bite into his mouth. They’d put away ten between them and Nick could tell from the rapturous expression on Sonny’s face that he had no regrets.

“I know,” Nick answered his unfinished sentence. “I told you! Worth the twenty minute wait.”

“More than,” Sonny agreed forcefully. “We may have to break up so that I can date one of the people who work there and get some kind of in. I don’t think I’ve ever had a more perfect bite of food.”

“I’m telling your nonna you said that,” Nick teased. “What’s she going to think when I tell her you described food truck fish tacos as the ‘perfect bite of food’?”

“Don’t you dare,” Sonny threatened with a wag of his finger. His eyebrows pulled down low in a concerted effort to appear firm and Nick just laughed in his face.

“Better not break up with me then,” he answered. The tone Nick was aiming for was casual, but his heart tugged a little under the jocular attitude. 

“That’s blackmail.”

“I’m glad your classes are going well,” Nick retorted without a hint of apology. He grinned and showed all of his teeth. “When you’re rich you can fly us out to eat all of the tacos we want.”

“Fly ‘us’ out, huh?”

“Mmhmm.”

“You still planning to move to New York when you graduate?” Sonny seemed surprised and the mood shifted slightly from playful to a little more serious.

Nick nodded and finished chewing slowly to buy himself some more time.

“I’d like to. Should have enough saved up by the time I graduate…”

“I’m saving up, too,” Sonny added eagerly. He looked hopeful. “Whatever I have, if you need it, you can have it.”

“I couldn’t take your money,” Nick responded with a shake of his head and dismissive smile as he stood to his feet. He gathered up the last of the paper plates and empty salsa containers and stuffed them in the plastic bag they’d come in. “I’ll figure it out.”

“You just said you couldn’t wait until I was rich so I could fly us out to buy tacos,” Sonny pointed out in a teasing tone. “The least you can do is let me help pay for any moving expenses. Having you close by again…I’d pay any amount I could for that.”

“You’re a sap,” Nick teased as he tied a knot in the plastic bag. He still wouldn’t meet Sonny’s eye. “That’s years away. You’ll probably have me replaced with some smart ass by that time. Heard you’ve been hanging out with Rafael recently.” 

At the noise Sonny made Nick hazarded a glance over. 

“Not sure if ‘hanging out’ is what I’d call it. More like, ‘getting schooled in every subject.’” Sonny laughed and ran a hand over his hair. “Besides, you’re my favorite smart ass.”

Nick rolled his eyes and Sonny pushed to his feet and swiped their empty cups. He nudged his shoulder against Nick’s and waited until Nick met his eye before speaking again.

“I miss you,” he said sincerely. 

“I know.”

“Don’t go all Han Solo on me now, Amaro.”

A beat and then Nick leaned in to press a kiss to Sonny’s mouth.

“I miss you, too.”

* * *

The previous night they had gone to bed after frotting against each other and making out for ages. Sonny was still adjusting to the time differences between the coasts and Nick had been happy just to have Sonny in his bed again. 

But tonight was different.

“I want to—I want you to—” Nick’s sentences kept getting interrupted by Sonny stretching up to kiss him. 

They were back in Nick’s bed after a day of sight seeing. There hadn’t been more tacos, but Nick had promised they could go again tomorrow. It was a nice day, Sonny was certainly happy to escape the frigid East Coast winter that was descending on New York, and Nick wished desperately that winter break was longer. But it wasn’t and he was determined to wring everything he could out of this trip so that the memories could keep him company on the nights where he missed Sonny so fiercely it was an ache in his teeth.

“Anything,” Sonny mumbled into Nick’s mouth around another kiss. His fingers stole under Nick’s shirt dug into Nick’s side. “Anything you want.”

“I want you,” Nick panted. He could feel Sonny smile into the next kiss.

“You’ve got me.”

“No, I—“ Nick made a frustrated noise in the back of his throat and then flipped them over so that Sonny was on top. He let his legs splay open and twined an ankle around Sonny’s as he pressed up into him. He tried again. “I want you.”

“You want me?” Sonny repeated. There was an amused smile on his face and glazed look of arousal in his eyes. He caught the side of Nick’s neck in his hand and smiled down at him. “You want me?”

Nick nodded and ground his pelvis up and into Sonny’s. 

“I want you,” he said again, emphasizing each word as he maintained eye contact.

“You—oh. Oh. _Oh_.“ Nick watched as Sonny’s amusement flickered between confusion and arousal before landing on understanding. And more arousal. There was a contemplative look in Sonny’s eye and his hips stuttered down into Nick’s before he caught himself.

“You want me to…”

“I’ve been prepping.” Nick reached out for his nightstand blindly and came back with a strip of condoms and a bottle of lube. “Just with my fingers,” he blushed, but forged on, “but I want you to…I want you inside of me this time, Sonny.” He lifted his chin and fought his feelings of awkwardness. This was still Sonny, after all. He would understand.

“I can do that,” Sonny croaked. His hand shot down to his crotch and Nick watched his expression carefully. “Just—damn, nearly blew just thinking about it. Give me a sec.”

“Take all the time you need,” Nick soothed. 

He got an idea and he shucked his shirt and then his underwear and let them fall over the side of the bed. Reaching for the lube he drizzled some on his fingers. First, he took the time to stroke himself. With a barely bitten back groan he moved on quickly, drizzling a little more lube on his fingers and then letting his fingers drift to his hole. He circled first, closing his eyes and focusing on the memories of what he had down before, and then pressed a finger inside. Sonny made another choked off noise and Nick’s eyes flew back open. He felt emboldened by the clear want in his eye and tried pressing another fingertip inside. It was a little slow going, practiced did not mean expert, but he took his time as Sonny wriggled out of his clothes. In his haste he tripped over Nick’s and the whole thing was nearly a moot point, but Sonny caught himself before he could crash to the floor.

“You okay?” Nick pulled his fingers out and leaned up in concern.

“Fine. Fine,” Sonny panted with a wave of his arm. He climbed back on the bed and slot himself between Nick’s thighs. “Just. First you feed me the world’s best fish tacos and now you want me to top you. A lot going on in my brain.”

“If you don’t want…” Nick didn’t think that was it, but he had to be sure.

“What about me nearly giving myself a concussion in my haste to take my clothes off indicates that I don’t want this, Nick Amaro?” Sonny braced his hands on either side of Nick. “I want this. Badly. Let me just—” He leaned in to kiss Nick deeply.

The kiss went on for awhile, Sonny taking control, but taking his time. He tried to pour all of the feeling he couldn’t put into words into it as his tongue traced Nick’s bottom lip before slipping inside his mouth again. His hands pat the sheets in search of the lube and Nick swiped it and pushed it into Sonny’s hands. A gentle lip bite was Sonny’s thanks before he pulled back and upturned the bottle on his fingers. Lube dripped from his wrist to the bed, but Nick didn’t even mind. There was nothing else on Nick’s mind as Sonny circled his hole and then sank a finger in slowly. 

He watched Nick’s face carefully. There was no sign of discomfort, so he continued, crooking his finger and twisting slightly. He knew when he found what he was looking for when Nick moved like he was zapped and his cock bobbed against his stomach. It drooled precome on his tanned abs and Sonny took a moment to lap it up. That drew a loud groan from Nick and Sonny smiled to himself as he tried adding another finger. He took his time. By the time Sonny thought Nick was ready they were both panting and leaking precome. Lube had gotten everywhere and Nick had resolved himself to just throw these sheets away rather than to try washing them.

“You ready?” Sonny struggled with the foil wrapper of the condom before finally getting it opened and on.

“Been ready,” Nick managed to tease.

Sonny chuckled and rolled his eyes. “Alright, alright. Someone’s getting mighty demanding.”

“If you’re scared…”

“Scared!?” Sonny squawked in response to Nick’s continued teasing. Nick laughed at Sonny’s expression and Sonny dug his fingers into his ribs to tickle him. “I’ll show you scared!”

“Rather you show me a little something else,” Nick leered.

“I’m going to ignore that ‘little’ comment and get on with the show,” Sonny sniffed. 

Nick wiggled his eyebrows. “By all means.”

With a smile still on his face he wrapped his hand around his cock and edged it closer to Nick’s hole. He circled for a few moments, taking his time and pushing in gently before pulling out before finally sinking in at a glacial pace. Nick could tell Sonny was holding his breath and he reached up a hand to smooth over Sonny’s brow.

“Feel okay?” Sonny’s eyebrows were knit together in concern.

“Full,” Nick huffed out honestly. “Keep moving. Please.”

Sonny obeyed and continued. When he was finally fully seated inside of Nick more sweat had sprung up on both of them and their ragged breathing was the only sound in the room.

“Stay there, for just a second.”

“As long as you need,” Sonny promised. He ducked in to kiss Nick’s eyebrow, his nose and finally his mouth. “No rush.”

“Feels kinda…strange. Not bad, though,” Nick admitted. He tilted his hips up further and Sonny grabbed a pillow to shove under his hips. “Oh.”

“Better?” Sonny scanned Nick’s face. 

Nick nodded and Sonny circled his hips slightly, not pulling out, but still trying to find the angle he had had before. When Nick suddenly tensed and then sagged back into the bed with a bitten off word he knew he had found it.

“Right there,” Nick ground out. “Oh my—that felt so good. Right there, Sonny.”

“I got you,” Sonny promised. He pulled out about an inch and then angled back in on that same spot. Nick groaned louder this time and Sonny smiled. “I’ve got you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this will probably be the last installation in this series...but you never know what could happen this autumn & winter! come say hi to me on tumblr--@carisi-dreams :)

**Author's Note:**

> I'm carisi-dreams on tumblr--come say hi!


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